Mommy’s Home!

Day Six of the Daddy Chronicles:

Day 6 started at 7:22 – I know amazing isn’t it.  Jillian stayed up late last night so she let us all sleep in a bit.  Everyone took their time getting dressed and eating breakfast.  We had a laid back morning with no need to rush off to anywhere.

Meredith was home around 4:30 when I got back from picking up the kids.  Everyone was excited to see Mom again.

We made it through 6 whole days without getting terribly injured, without starving, without going insane, and without Mom!  How did we do it?  With the closing of our adventure, I thought I would leave you with the top 10 things that got me through the week.

10.  Blogging – writing in my blog and reading your responses has been therapeutic
9.  Laughter – having a sense of humour helps to put it all in perspective
8.  Vacation – having a few days off really helped me keep my sanity
7.  Netflix – the boys watched Scooby Doo and Thomas the Train online
6.  Lunchables – much more efficient than making lunch
5.  Evil Dad – I only used it once, but it was enough
4.  Sleep – Jillian slept through the night every night, that really made a difference
3.  Formula – a bottle right before bed helped Jillian sleep through the night
2.  Beer – a bottle right before bed helped Dad sleep through the night

And the number one thing that got me through the weekend…
1.  The Kids – they were great all week!

Dad, why are you so slow?

Day Five of the Daddy Chronicles:

Day 5 started at 5:22 – another two minutes!  This morning I accomplished a feat not soon to be repeated.  I got all the kids up, dressed, fed, and made it to Heart of a Child at exactly 8:00, though I still had on the same pair of underwear I was wearing the day before.  8:00 was a very important time, because that’s when the bus left to go on the field trip to The Little Farmer.  Sure enough, when we got to Heart of  Child, there was the bus, and everyone was getting on board.  When informed of this Isaiah asked in consternation, “Dad, why are you so slow?”  To which I responded with fits of laughter.

Of course Jillian didn’t go on the field trip, but she wasn’t sad.  She got to spend the day taking endless rides in her favorite swing and getting a spa treatment.  Lately Jillian has had some major cradle cap.  Her head was so scaly, she was starting to look like a lizard.  So, I have to give kudos to Ms. Wendy at Heart of a Child for clearing it up with a two day spa treatment that must have included steel wool. 

After dinner, I was flipping through the channels on TV, when Isaiah blurted out “hey a corvette!”  Sure enough, their was a show on the National Geographic channel about how corvette’s are manufactured.  The boys thought that was pretty cool, so we watched it.  Afterword, Isaiah noted “when I grow up, I want to make corvettes.” 

Tonight after putting Jillian down for one of her cat naps, I went to tuck in Harrison (Isaiah was fast asleep).  When I laid down next to him, he casually noted that “Wally has a laser.”  Wally…?  Who’s this Wally, and what does he dowith his laser?  So, I asked “who’s Wally?”  Harrison looked at me incredulously, and replied “Wally!” with a tone that insinuated I was an idiot for not knowing who Wally was.  Then he went on to say that “Eve has a gun.  Eve is a girl.  She has blue eyes.”  I was confused and concerned.  It sounded like Bonnie and Clyde reincarnate.  But then it occurred to me.  He was talking about WALL-E. 

Jillian burps like a man!  Meredith should be proud.

We all miss Mommy, especially me.  We can’t wait to see her when she comes home tomorrow. 

I’m the Leader of the Good Guys

Day Four of the Daddy Chronicles:

Well I made it through day 4, but I’m starting to feel the effects – I’m exhausted.  In fact, I fell asleep as I was typing this blog.  I did get another 20 minutes out of Jillian though, starting my day at 5:20.  What I remember of the morning was uneventful, but my days are starting to be a blur. 

I went to Isaiah’s school to see the Halloween parade around 10:30.  Isaiah went dressed as Optimus Prime.  When I got their each student was being called up to the front of class show their costume.  Their teacher, Mrs Terrill would ask, “do you want to tell us anything about your costume?”  At which point, most kids would cast a mortified look at their riveted classmates, shake their head no in earnest, and quickly sit back down.  Now Isaiah on the other hand, proceeded to tell the class that he was “enemies with Chevy.  He’s dressed like Megatron, and I’m dressed like Optimus Prime.  He’s the bad guy, and I’m the leader of the good guys.”  Note the emphasis on leader, that’s our Isaiah, he likes to be in charge.  And, yes there is a boy in his classed named Chevy.    The Halloween parade was cute.  It was fun to see all the kids in their costumes.

Isaiah had a half day of school, and I took off work.  So I picked him up at 1pm.  We played baseball in the backyard for a while.  I even got to bat for a while.  Isaiah’s ball control is really getting better.  In fact, he throws equally well with either hand.  Fascinating!  After baseball, Isaiah helped me rake leaves.  Or rather, I repeatedly covered him in leaves.  At first, he was a vampire rising from the grave, but then it turned into a pool, then a mud pit, and finally a tar pit.  No one will ever say our kids lack imagination.

Jillian is getting more interactive every day.  It’s great to make eye contact with her and watch her break into that toothless, open mouth grin, with milk-drool running down her chin.  When she was only days old I would try to make eye contact with her and then stick out my tongue.  Of course their was no reaction.  However, when she sees me now, she sticks out her tongue.  I’m not sure if it is just a quirky coincidence, or if we are communicating on some primordial level.

Harrison has one level… High Intensity!  He’ll be the first one to break  some major bone.

Is That Guy Dead?

Day Three of the Daddy Chronicles:

Day 3 started off at 5am – I squeezed another half hour out of Jillian.  I even managed to make it through the morning without any puke on my shirt.  The morning was fairly uneventful, and today I was only 30 minutes late for work.  I don’t want to get cocky, but I’m starting to get the hang of things.  I’m not ready to claim Super Dad status or anything, but I am getting in touch with my Mommyness.  Hopefully I didn’t jinx myself.

Nothing crazy, or even funny happened today.  I know… boaring.  We did watch some more History Channel, but this time it was a show about Halloween costumes and haunted houses.  I had to repeatedly answer NO to questions like: “Is that real blood?”  and “Are vampires real?”  and “Is that guy dead?”  I hope they don’t get nightmares. 

I did get a pleasant surprise from Isaiah tonight.  When I asked him to clean up the toys in the basement, he responded with a simple “Why?”  This is the quintessential question every child asks hoping their parents feeble minds are unable to actually break the complex explanation down to simple terms the child will understand.  The objective is to get the parent to simply acquiesce to a perceived lack of understanding and do the task themselves.  I was on to his tactics, though, and explained that it was difficult to walk through the room without being permanently disabled by the minefield he had created.  However, he parried my blow with another often used, but effective strategy of just staring at the TV.  I left the room thinking I had lost the battle yet again to the infamous Diego.  However, when I had returned to the room some time later, he had actually cleaned it up!  Ha victory!  Blind them with reason – they have no defense.

I took the rest of the week off to lighten the burden.  If I get all the kids all off to childcare and school, I may even get some downtime, not that I’ll know what to do with myself.

Check back soon for more updates.  Something crazy is bound to happen, after-all, we are Lauers.

P.S. One quick cute thing to add.  Tonight when I was cleaning poop out of Harrison’s underwear he deflected my frustration with the following monologue…

Daddy, I love you!  I’ll love you forever.  I’ll love Mommy forever, too!

I’ll have to admit, it worked – he’s got that play it cute routine down.  It makes it hard to be angry at him for long.

How Long do Your Farts Last

Day Two of the Daddy Chronicles:

Well I got an early start to the day when Jillian awoke at 4:30am, but I still ended up being 45 minutes late for work.  I know, you’re not surprised.  Despite having to clean puke off my dress shirt twice, the morning was fairly uneventful.  It just takes that long to get everything going.

My boys made me proud this evening when they decided they wanted to watch a show on the History Channel about digitally reconstructing the faces of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington based on their death masks…

Outside that, it was a fairly uneventful day.  I know, amazing, isn’t it.  I do have a couple interesting quotes from the day to share.

“My farts last for, like, a hundred years!” 
                       – Harrison (3)

“Did Wisconsin win the Civil War?”
                       – Isaiah (5)

“Coo… gurgle… fart…”
                       – Jillian (3 Months)

Why is There a Turd on the Floor

OK, so many of you know that Meredith just left on a business trip for the next week… So I’m at home with 3 children, Isaiah (5), Harrison (3), and Jillian (3 Months).  Am I nervous?  People usually get nervous when they’re not sure what to expect.  Well, I’m not nervous. I know what to expect.  Total Chaos!!! 

I decided to keep a blog of my adventure – as a coping mechanism.

Day 1:

Meredith left around 5pm.  Not 10 minutes after she left, I had to break out the Evil Dad routine to get the boys to clean up their toys.  This while Jillian was crying inconsolably.  Well, we made it through this event, and the rest of the night was mostly pleasant.  Then came bedtime…

I put the boys in the shower (together), and left to get Jillian ready for bed.  Just as I get Jillian undressed I hear faintly from the bathroom - “I have to poop”.  So I leave Jillian naked on the changing table, which is apparently her favorite state of undress, to check it out.  When I walk in the door I see Harrison standing by the toilet with his but cheeks pinched together like someone isabout to take his temperature.  Lying behind him on the floor is a TURD!  Or rather a creamy pile of poo the consistency of pea soup.  Apparently he has mild diarrhea.  As a result it is smeared all over his legs as well as the toilet seat. 

Believe it or not, this event was actually not terribly surprising to me – we have 3 kids after all.  Anyway, I was able to get him cleaned up and even read them all Chicken Little before bed.

Check back soon for Day 2.

Another picture of John

Picture of John

John

I

John is having fun with Doug.  He is full of smiles and laughter.  John now has 4 teeth (three lower and 1 upper).  Last week he started crawling and today he was standing up in his crib after a nap.  Wow, they learn and grow so fast.

I Think I Look Like….

My mommy!  Some people say I look like Harrison….some people say I look like my Grandpa Steve….but I think I look like my mommy!  Have a happy day!!

Isaiah’s First Day of School!